Heart it Races
I lined up for my second 5K since college graduation yesterday evening. I'd been swept up in the wake of Oiselle ladies training and now racing.
My collegiate career ended in the office of a sports psychologist. I believe it was in my second session of trying to get out of my own head I just said I didn't love it anymore. Which was more or less true. I remembered loving it. I knew I might be able to love it again. But at th e moment it was tearing me down. I had tonsillitis, was still expected to be at workouts. Something in me quit after a particularly hilly 2.5 hour run the day after a meet. A girl's knee kept giving out, but she wouldn't get in our coach's truck. She wanted to finish the workout. He looked so proud, but I just thought "this is so messed up".
It took me years to come back and try racing for fun. I picked up a goal of finishing a 1/2 marathon, then a full. It was nice to run these races I had no expectations in. I still got in my head, I was nervous almost the entire first 1/2 marathon. But was happy to have nothing to compare my finish time to. This was not the old me. I used to be nervous until the gun went off, then competition took over. I didn't worry, I just ran.
Yesterday was my second ti me in 6 years doing stride outs, edging up to that line, trying to tell my nagging voices to shut up! I was nervous the whole first mile, talking to myself, trying to talk it down, hanging on to the Oiselles. Then the girl I knew would win had to stop and tie her shoe, when she got back to it, I went with her. And I just hung on. If you're from Seattle you know that Rose is a fast, fast, FAST chick coming off an injury right now. She dresses in tutus, wigs and silly costumes and still wins. So I was really chasing this white wigged, tutu and fishnet tights wearing runner which took the edge off. As her wig got further and further away, I started playing the pick people off game. Trying to tell myself funny jokes instead of negative thoughts. Like my brother and I used to do when we'd race summer road races in Vermont. "I'm coming for you now funny feet"
Yesterday evening found my racing legs, and even though my time isn't a life PR (18:08) I'm very happy with it. I emptied my tank, I gave it everything I had, for the first time in years.
My collegiate career ended in the office of a sports psychologist. I believe it was in my second session of trying to get out of my own head I just said I didn't love it anymore. Which was more or less true. I remembered loving it. I knew I might be able to love it again. But at th e moment it was tearing me down. I had tonsillitis, was still expected to be at workouts. Something in me quit after a particularly hilly 2.5 hour run the day after a meet. A girl's knee kept giving out, but she wouldn't get in our coach's truck. She wanted to finish the workout. He looked so proud, but I just thought "this is so messed up".
It took me years to come back and try racing for fun. I picked up a goal of finishing a 1/2 marathon, then a full. It was nice to run these races I had no expectations in. I still got in my head, I was nervous almost the entire first 1/2 marathon. But was happy to have nothing to compare my finish time to. This was not the old me. I used to be nervous until the gun went off, then competition took over. I didn't worry, I just ran.
Yesterday was my second ti me in 6 years doing stride outs, edging up to that line, trying to tell my nagging voices to shut up! I was nervous the whole first mile, talking to myself, trying to talk it down, hanging on to the Oiselles. Then the girl I knew would win had to stop and tie her shoe, when she got back to it, I went with her. And I just hung on. If you're from Seattle you know that Rose is a fast, fast, FAST chick coming off an injury right now. She dresses in tutus, wigs and silly costumes and still wins. So I was really chasing this white wigged, tutu and fishnet tights wearing runner which took the edge off. As her wig got further and further away, I started playing the pick people off game. Trying to tell myself funny jokes instead of negative thoughts. Like my brother and I used to do when we'd race summer road races in Vermont. "I'm coming for you now funny feet"
Yesterday evening found my racing legs, and even though my time isn't a life PR (18:08) I'm very happy with it. I emptied my tank, I gave it everything I had, for the first time in years.