Jun 9

Jun 9 ALL IN ON A 1/2 | RnR SEATTLE

Ever notice how easy it is to want something on mile three of an easy run, or the cool down after a big workout? And really hard to want the same thing at 8pm when you're eyeing a bowl of popcorn, glass of Merlot and Netflix? AKA my winter in a nutshell.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't find the work to be hard to get up for. I mean I could win awards in dawdling before the long run for sure, but once I'm out there, I'm all about it. But a real performance breakthrough doesn't just happen because of what gets done on the roads (or treadmill).

This past year despite its highs and lows has been the highest consistent mileage of my entire running life. The work is going in. But I wasn't hitting any of my paces this winter and my 10 mile race was reflective of that. The paces shouldn't have been over my head. They were over my head because I was clocking in and clocking out of running.

It's not like I was clocking out and dancing til 2am. But I wasn't prioritizing my recovery or nutrition at the level I needed to. While 60 miles a week is like NBD to a lot of runners, it is a lot for me. When I didn't respect the mileage, I couldn't do the quantity and the quality. I was a little burned out, sure. And this winter has been hard. But it was also self sabotage, fear of attachment, and uncertainty of what my goals really were.

I knew that 10 mile race (back in April) would light me on fire to go all in, or show me that I was ready to ease off the gas pedal and chill for a bit.

Well, as usual, I have no chill. Or I have more curiosity than complacency. I'm still interested experimentation, training, and seeing what's possible. I went all in for this training block, I was ready to risk putting it on the line. And challenged myself to break my small acts self sabotage.